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Word Count: 1,013
Communication is humanities greatest accomplishment however how we communicate can greatly affect the way were understood and how we understand others Communication is a learned ability with many skills which are programmed into us for better or worse by our parents friends and all that we have contact with These skills can be defined as listening assertion and conflict resolution skills and with all of these skills being used appropriately we can bring down the barriers to communication and put an end to the frustration that comes from poor communication Like most things in this life if you put your mind to something and practice it you will achieve what you set out to do Such is the case in becoming more skilled in communication It is important to identify some of the communication spoilers so that we can avoid such major roadblocks in our relationships with others It has been said that there are three types of communication spoilers judging sending solutions and avoiding others concerns There are many barriers that can fit into these categories however the example of the dirty dozen is what is commonly known They are - criticising name-calling diagnosing praising evaluatively and ordering threatening moralising excessiveinappropriate questioning advising diverting logical argument and reassuring While some of these responses are not always destructive to communication when one or more of the persons communicating is under stress the likelihood of these types of responses being harmful increases If we are to improve our communication skills it is necessary to learn when not to use such responses and to develop the self-control to know when we are using such things in a negative way The most important thing in communicating is to be able to understand what is being said It is one thing to be able to hear but to actually listen takes more than just a pair of ears The difference is when we are properly listening to a person
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