Consumerism in the United States and Its Negative Effects to the General Public
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"You have done a great job creating a powerful introduction that grabs the reader's attention and gives your paper direction. You have presented your points in a logical manner that allows the reader to come to their own conclusion about the topic while taking into account yours. You have presented a decent amount of quality evidence to support your position. I would suggest that you consider reading through the evidence and rewording some of it which might be worded in a way that is misleading. The most notable instance in which this is the case is when you say people are exposed to 5000 advertisements per day. When the original article is read, this is worded in a different manner, making this fact inaccurate. Also, since it is apparent that you have included so much data, it is concerning that there are so few citations. Make sure to cite all information that you obtained from other sources, including paraphrased information, to avoid plagiarism issues. Last, make sure to resolve any apparent spacing, grammar, and punctuation errors. "
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