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"This piece does a wonderful job of explaining Damascus Way and its mission and how the organization has helped women and children within the community. Your purpose for writing is clear, and your paper is mostly well-organized and well-cited. To further improve, your thesis could be slightly more specific, since you focus on more than the bonds created between the staff and those whom they help; you might also mention the challenges the group faces in that sentence. Also, consider expanding the paragraph about the challenges the group faces in serving all of those in need: how could that be solved? What kinds of additional problems in the community does that issue indicate? A round of editing will help you clear up the minor issues with sentence structure and punctuation."
Kibin. (2023). Damascus way and making a change in the world around them: an informative essay. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/damascus-way-and-making-a-change-in-the-world-around-them-an-informative-essay-wVubpRFJ
Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.
("Damascus Way and Making a Change in the World Around Them: An Informative Essay.")
Works Cited entry:
"Damascus Way and Making a Change in the World Around Them: An Informative Essay." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/damascus-way-and-making-a-change-in-the-world-around-them-an-informative-essay-wVubpRFJ
1. "Damascus Way and Making a Change in the World Around Them: An Informative Essay." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/damascus-way-and-making-a-change-in-the-world-around-them-an-informative-essay-wVubpRFJ.
"Damascus Way and Making a Change in the World Around Them: An Informative Essay." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/damascus-way-and-making-a-change-in-the-world-around-them-an-informative-essay-wVubpRFJ.
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