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Word Count: 367
Complete with razor sharp fangs and an insatiable taste for human blood vampires have gained a ton of street creditability for being ruthless killers The immense fear vampires once instilled in the hearts of millions has been slowly overshadowed by a new wave of vampires and these youngsters with their pale sparkly skin and brooding eyebrows have been the downfall of these ungodly beasts for the past decade The cold undead hipsters have decided to avoid the social norms of their society and choose to leech on defenseless woodland creatures instead of humans By throwing away everything their ancestors have worked so hard to prove and spending the money they have accumulated over centuries on hair products theyve ruined their very own culture The initial reaction to vampires was a classic blood-curdling scream and the futile flailing of arms before inevitably being devoured by the ungodly beast The gut-wrenching terror that was once associated with vampires has been replaced with the overwhelming feeling to hand them a couple of Prozacs a nice warm cup of squirrel blood a squirrel that died from natural causes mind you and a hug The angst and guilt that rolls off of these poor creatures like the Abercrombie and Fitch cologne they bathe in to mask the scent of their last deer kill is pathetic Honestly people vampires dont need hugs Where are the good ol homicidal vampires that we know and love The one who relishes the thrill of sinking their fangs into your jugular and hanging on for dear life Nosferatu Dracula Oh where art thou I miss the blood and the gore and the violent passion that have come hand in hand with vampires over the years because that is what a vampire is an animal They are not supposed to fight their instincts and have self control Vampires are meant to terrorized towns feast on people who are stupid enough to fall into their trap
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