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Do the Students at Northside College Prep Have Lower Stress Levels?

This is a research paper in which the author conducts an experiment to see if the students in their school have low stress levels. The author gathered data by reflecting on four different incidences of students conversing with each other about school matters. The author of the paper determined that the students in the school do not in fact have low stress levels despite the school's efforts to aid in stress reduction.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"You have done a great job organizing data that supports your position on the issue you presented in the paper. You have presented your observations in a clear manner that allows the reader to understand the point that you are trying to make. There is one particular paragraph in your paper where the content seems repetitive. Consider having another set of eyes read your paper to resolve issues like this. Your paper could also benefit from a strong introduction. Unfortunately, it is not clear from the start what the goal of your paper is. Consider creating a paragraph that outlines what your paper will be talking about and that ends with a clear thesis statement that guides the entirety of the paper. There are a couple of issues with your use of MLA style conventions. These issues primarily appear in your citations and references. Last, there are a number of sentence structure errors scattered throughout the essay. These mostly appear as incomplete sentences. Make sure that your paper goes through a round of proofreading to resolve these issues."

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