Doing What I Thought I Could Not: My Experience as a Female Football Player
This essay is a personal account of the author being one of two girls on a football team. It describes what it is like to be a girl on such a team and the importance of people following their dreams even if they do not fit in with the norm.
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"You did a great job describing an event in your life and providing details so that the reader could understand how you were feeling. There are some places in your text where the thoughts and ideas are not written in a logical order. Sometimes this lack of logic makes the flow of the text end abruptly. This can be resolved by putting events in the proper order and creating transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Many of the sentences sound choppy. The choppiness leads to the introduction and conclusion not being as strong as they could be. The choppiness can be resolved by adding more adjectives in order to describe your experience. There are some grammatical and punctuation errors that are also leading to the choppiness."
Kibin. (2023). Doing what i thought i could not: my experience as a female football player. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/doing-what-i-thought-i-could-not-my-experience-as-a-female-football-player-spZ02cQ2
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Works Cited entry:
"Doing What I Thought I Could Not: My Experience as a Female Football Player." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/doing-what-i-thought-i-could-not-my-experience-as-a-female-football-player-spZ02cQ2
1. "Doing What I Thought I Could Not: My Experience as a Female Football Player." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/doing-what-i-thought-i-could-not-my-experience-as-a-female-football-player-spZ02cQ2.
"Doing What I Thought I Could Not: My Experience as a Female Football Player." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/doing-what-i-thought-i-could-not-my-experience-as-a-female-football-player-spZ02cQ2.
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