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Exploring My Italian Heritage: Who I Am

In this admissions essay, the author details the cultural experiences and family activities their family had during a visit to Italy. The essay ties these experiences back to the author's Italian identity and heritage.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Christina's feedback:

"You did well giving the reader a good understanding of your purpose statement, letting them know you would be talking about your heritage. Make sure you are including at least five sentences in each paragraph, including the introduction, which should have an overview of what you will be discussing in your body paragraphs with your focus statement. Right now, you could break up your second paragraph into smaller paragraphs to help the organization and readability. When using any style while writing your papers or essays, you should always indent your paragraphs in a uniform manner. Put the paper through a round of proofreading to resolve any issues of capitalization, sentence fragments, preposition usage, grammar, and verb tense issues before submitting your work."

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