In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). Finding my place: why maryville university is right for me. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/finding-my-place-why-maryville-university-is-right-for-me-G10b2yEv
More essays like this:
This preview is partially blurred. Sign up to view the complete essay.
More essays like this:
View other essays like this one:
Iva's feedback:
"You do a great job of explaining how two different aspects of Maryville University -- the teaching style and the atmosphere ("feeling at home away from home") -- make the school an ideal place for you to reach your goals of both studying forensic science and helping to build inclusive communities for those who may feel excluded. However, your explanations lose some of their strength as a result of the way in which they are organized. Specifically, even though you separate your academic and personal goals into two distinct sections, you jump between topics within those sections. For example, in the section of your essay on forensic science, you go from talking about your internship and what it showed you about Maryville's community to stating your thesis statement (the two main reasons why you want to attend Maryville) to discussing academics at Maryville to praising the ways in Maryville meets both your academic and personal needs. While your internship at the school is clearly an important experience to discuss, is there an anecdote from it (ideally one that shows both the academics and community of Maryville) that you could recount and then tie to your thesis? That way, it is clear from the start that your essay will focus on both the unique teaching style and the university community as draws for you and leave plenty of room for you to discuss those two characteristics in more depth (and work in more anecdotes from your internship). Finally, you do not need to capitalize "forensic science" and "criminal justice" as you are not writing out the full official names of the departments."
Learn more about this feedback
In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). Finding my place: why maryville university is right for me. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/finding-my-place-why-maryville-university-is-right-for-me-G10b2yEv
In-text citation:
("Finding My Place: Why Maryville University Is Right for Me.")
Works Cited entry:
"Finding My Place: Why Maryville University Is Right for Me." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/finding-my-place-why-maryville-university-is-right-for-me-G10b2yEv
Footnote:
1. "Finding My Place: Why Maryville University Is Right for Me." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/finding-my-place-why-maryville-university-is-right-for-me-G10b2yEv.
Bibliography entry:
"Finding My Place: Why Maryville University Is Right for Me." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/finding-my-place-why-maryville-university-is-right-for-me-G10b2yEv.
You know how looking at a math problem similar to the one you're stuck on can help you get unstuck? Reading example essays works the same way!
Here are some ways our essay examples library can help you with your assignment:
Read our Academic Honor Code for more information on how to use (and how not to use) our library.
Essays may be lightly modified for readability or to protect the anonymity of contributors, but we do not edit essay examples prior to publication. (And nope, we don't source our examples from our editing service! Check out our Privacy and Content Sharing policies for more information.)
The essays in our library are intended to serve as content examples to inspire you as you write your own essay. They're not intended to be submitted as your own work, so we don't waste time removing every error. This allows our team to focus on improving the library and adding new essays.
The example essays in Kibin's library were written by real students for real classes. To protect the anonymity of contributors, we've removed their names and personal information from the essays. When citing an essay from our library, you can use "Kibin" as the author.
Kibin does not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of the essays in the library; essay content should not be construed as advice. For more information on choosing credible sources for your paper, check out this blog post.
Did you find something inaccurate, misleading, abusive, or otherwise problematic in this essay example? Let us know! We'll take a look right away.