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Fortnite by Epic Games Is a Bad Influence on Kids

In this argumentative essay, a student takes the position that Fortnite by Epic Games is not appropriate for children. The student explains how Fortnite is a bad influence because it keeps kids from doing their homework and exposes them to violence.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You have a clear argument, and it’s good that you reiterate your supporting points throughout the essay. However, run-on sentences such as the one that starts “Many could argue” and sentence fragments such as the one that starts “Even if it” should be recast to improve the quality of your writing. The title of an article should be enclosed in quotation marks, and review is needed to ensure all quotation marks are facing the correct way and have been spaced properly. Italics should be used instead of underlining for emphasis. When such emphasis occurs within a quote, a parenthetical comment should be included to note whether the emphasis was part of the original material or your own addition. A word such as “states” should not be capitalized when it appears in the middle of a sentence."

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