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Free Time and Leisure Activities Should Be Planned Out in Advance

In this argumentative essay, a student explains why an individual’s free time should be planned out. The student asserts that many common leisure activities require at least some degree of planning to be enjoyed.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Angela's feedback:

"You do a good job of taking a clear stance on the issue, but your argument would be stronger if you switched your first and second body paragraphs. Starting with the opposing view in this case gives you the ability to rebut it and leaves the reader with the reasons why your stance is correct. Your essay would look neater if you indented the first line of each paragraph by a consistent amount, say, half an inch. There are many issues with spacing and punctuation. No space should appear before punctuation marks such as commas, periods, and question marks. Meanwhile, you’ve used a comma where a period would be appropriate and a semicolon where a comma would make more sense. Review is needed to ensure every sentence ends with a piece of punctuation. Terms such as “many” and “during” should not be capitalized in the middle of a sentence, and a compound modifier that precedes a noun should be hyphenated (e.g., “day-to-day activities”)."

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