Gaius Marius Should Be Considered the Most Revolutionary Figure of the Roman Revolution
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"You do a phenomenal job with paragraph development (topic sentences, clear and focused analysis, connecting to your thesis statement), writing mechanics, clarity, and logic. However, making your thesis statement more specific (providing a road map of what the body paragraphs discuss), identifying Marius' full name and position within Roman society in your introduction, and rephrasing the final sentence for better clarity would further strengthen your paper. Your arguments are strong and well-reasoned, and your essay structure is in great shape. Touching up those few elements will add further to the focus and cohesion. "
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