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Gender Roles in Romeo and Juliet

This essay discusses gender roles in Romeo and Juliet. The student suggests that Shakespeare has presented Juliet as defying the role expected of women in the Elizabethan era.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"This is an interesting interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. You make a strong case for your thesis statement. However, there are some issues with clarity, credibility, and organization.

You make some broad claims about gender roles and expectations in the Elizabethan era. These may be accurate, but the essay does not offer any support of these claims. For instance, you state that Juliet's disobedience is a "punishable crime." Is there evidence to support this? The norms of the society in which the play is set are critical to your argument; therefore it is important to make sure these are presented accurately and with evidence.

You mention both that Romeo conforms to masculine stereotypes and exhibits feminne qualities. While you suggest that Juliet is responsible for bringing out the feminine side of Romeo, it's unclear whether you are arguing that Romeo himself is challenging gender roles or that Juliet's actions alone bring this about.

Your conclusion is a little confusing and doesn't strongly support your thesis. You end by saying that Shakespeare depicted traditional gender roles. If you mean to show that Shakespeare depicted society's expectations for gender roles and had the protagonists challenge them, make sure to state that plainly.

Verb tense can be tricky when jumping between the actions of the play and the historical context. Actions in the play should be present tense, while comments about historical events should be past tense.

There are many awkwardly worded sentences that should be addressed by an editor to make sure your meaning isn't being lost and your arguments are fully supported and clearly articulated."

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