Government's Funding Policy for the American Education System
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"The body of your essay is well organized and contains a lot of evidence to support your position. I would consider creating a more succinct introduction that grabs the reader's attention faster. Currently, your introduction contains all the necessary information but is rather lengthy. There are a significant number of grammar and punctuation errors throughout the essay, some of which impact readability. Because of this, make sure that your paper goes through a good round of proofreading. Upon reaching your conclusion, two different things came to mind. First, consider doing some fact checking. You argue that the federal government should be in control of education instead of states, but the federal government is currently in control, and typically speaking the argument for improving education is to put it in the hands of the states. Also, you use No Child Left Behind as evidence for your argument, but No Child Left Behind was created by and is maintained by the federal government. Second, the conclusion should also be more succinct, summarizing all the main points of the document."
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