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How Embracing Humility Led to Being More Successful

This essay focuses on how one student's greatest challenge of the heart was learning how to embrace humility. The student breaks down two key experiences -- one related to baseball, and the other related to procrastinating with homework -- to illustrate how humility ultimately led to being successful.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Crystal's feedback:

"I really loved how open and introspective you were in the details about learning to embrace humility and growing from criticism. You introduce and frame things well, stay nicely focused in each paragraph, and wrap things up effectively by highlighting that both experiences taught you how failure motivates success (though you should consider synthesizing a few specifics about the two experiences as well). One thing that would also strengthen your body paragraphs is using a clear topic sentence in each that connects to your thesis explicitly and ending with a clear "so what?" statement that shows why the details in the paragraph connect to the topic sentence and your thesis. In terms of writing mechanics, you did an excellent job in most areas, but watch for unnecessary commas (e.g., in the last sentence), tenses (e.g., "haven't" in last sentence of the second paragraph), and inconsistent paragraph indents."

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