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How Growing up at a Young Age Shaped Who I Am Today

In this personal essay, a student reflects on how taking on significant family duties at a young age shaped their sense of responsibility. The writer describes caring for younger siblings and how those responsibilities positively affected their performance in school as well as their parents' trust.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Erin's feedback:

"You've written a solid essay that has a clear main idea and lots of supporting details. I do think that you respond to the prompt well, but if I hadn't read been aware of your prompt, I wouldn't have necessarily known that you were describing a setback or obstacle. You may want to make that point a bit more clear. I also found the phrase "to be more different" a little vague, especially since that's in your opening line; is there a more concrete way you could explain what you mean there? Finally, your overall formatting and grammar are good, but you don't need the extra space between paragraphs (one line is fine) and there are a few missing commas and awkward phrases that you ought to address before submission."

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