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How I Came About Pursuing a Business Degree

This is a personal statement in which the author discusses both their professional and education journey. The author talks about how they changed their degree path several times and why. The author also discusses how they originally had financial concerns in regards to achieving their academic goals, but through the process of seeking leadership, internship, and employment opportunities they were able to ease their financial worries.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"You have done a great job detailing both your educational and professional experience and communicating with the reader how you have gotten where you are today. You have also done a great job neatly formatting your essay. As someone reads your essay, it becomes increasingly clear what the goal of your essay is, but I would challenge you to try to make the goal of your essay more clear from the very beginning. I would also suggest that you consider elaborating on your conclusion. Because the entire rest of your essay is so detailed and strong, the conclusion feels as if it is lacking. Last, there are several grammar and punctuation errors scattered throughout the essay. Make sure that the essay goes through a round of proofreading to resolve these issues."

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