How Investment Banks Advance or Defend Against Hostile Takeovers

Crystal's feedback:

"Awesome job in your intro with setting up the background info on hostile takeovers and clearly framing your focus on investment banks' offensive and defensive strategies related to hostile takeovers (though consider focusing the last element in your thesis statement a little more on managing a company's existing shares). You also clearly focused your body paragraphs and used well-integrated examples of the strategies that can be deployed by investment banks and some real-world examples. Paragraphs in general were well-developed, too, but would be stronger if you brought each body paragraph more full circle so that it connects with the beginning of the paragraph itself. In addition, transitions between paragraphs could be strengthened with transitional elements, and the very end would be stronger if you incorporated a final takeaway to leave the reader something to think about--for instance, what's the ultimate outcome or impact of the possible actions of investment banks, or what implications does it have in terms of their ability to influence hostile takeovers or even on the broader business climate/markets? Finally, a good proofreading would help you address the following elements: spacing issues (e.g., extra and missing spaces between words/surround punctuation) and inconsistent paragraph indents, punctuation surrounding in-text citations (e.g., see period placement in the first in-text citation for Grabianowski), use of possessive forms (e.g., "investment banks" should be a plural possessive in the last sentence of your intro, "IPOs" not "IPO's," etc.), awkward phrasing (e.g., "providing" in first sentence of third paragraph--and other areas throughout as well), capitalization errors (e.g., "E.g.," "Credit Facilities," etc.), and sentence fragments (e.g., last sentence of second paragraph)."

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