How My Grandparents Helped Me through My Depression and Rekindled My Motivation to Study
In this admissions essay, a student talks about the hardships she faced when her relationship with her mother deteriorated and she subsequently lost the motivation to apply herself to her studies. The student shares how her grandparents helped her recover from her depression.
This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.
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"Although it must be a tough topic for you to share, you cover your hardships and recovery from depression in a thoughtful and mature manner. Overall, the reader can understand that you've learned valuable life lessons from your time in high school and are indeed motivated to attend college. An edit should be done to revise your verb tense where necessary since in a couple of places the wrong tense has been used and is currently throwing off the time line in your narrative. No ampersands should be used in main body text since they take away from the formal or academic tone of your writing. In addition your use of the semicolon should be revisited along with your capitalization practices for the word "grandpa." Since your work barely continues on to a second page, it would be best if you could shorten it so that it fits well on one piece of paper. This can be done simply by deleting the extra spaces in between your paragraphs."
Kibin. (2023). How my grandparents helped me through my depression and rekindled my motivation to study. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-my-grandparents-helped-me-through-my-depression-and-rekindled-my-motivation-to-study-ZMatKSOY
Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.
("How My Grandparents Helped Me through My Depression and Rekindled My Motivation to Study.")
Works Cited entry:
"How My Grandparents Helped Me through My Depression and Rekindled My Motivation to Study." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-my-grandparents-helped-me-through-my-depression-and-rekindled-my-motivation-to-study-ZMatKSOY
1. "How My Grandparents Helped Me through My Depression and Rekindled My Motivation to Study." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-my-grandparents-helped-me-through-my-depression-and-rekindled-my-motivation-to-study-ZMatKSOY.
"How My Grandparents Helped Me through My Depression and Rekindled My Motivation to Study." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-my-grandparents-helped-me-through-my-depression-and-rekindled-my-motivation-to-study-ZMatKSOY.
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