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How One Pair of Shoes Kickstarted My Journey

This personal statement reflects on how one constant in the student's life (their trusty Champion shoes) has been with them through challenges, accomplishments, and growth.
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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This is a dynamic and engaging statement. You've done a great job catching the attention of the reader, who really experiences the voice and personality behind the prose. You have a strong sense of flow, both in syntax and in the overall narrative flow of the statement. Proofreading to catch the occasional awkward phrasing will ensure your strong writing really shines. My main comment is about unresolved tension between some of the themes and the conceit. The use of the shoes as a metaphor for movement and action is working well. Noting that they are a constant in your life while tracing the change and forward momentum creates an interesting tension between change and habit (or known and unknown, or predictable and surprising). Can you address this more directly by the end so the reader understands the exact role something unchanging plays in the variety of your life?"

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