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How Teenagers Can Build Trust with Their Parents

This essay guides the reader through a parent-child relationship based on trust and respect. The student combines advice and personal reflection to emphasize habits of communication and compromise. The primary audience is teenagers.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You are off to a good start, and these pages hold a lot of excellent advice for kids (and parents--!) with a sense of perspective, fairness, and, as an essay, the themes and thesis oriented around respect. The concept of respect becomes an important tool for organization and focus, as well, which will be helpful as you move forward.

My first main comment is regarding the body of the paper, which meanders back and forth a bit. To address this, I recommend a reverse outline technique (or something similar, like identifying your main points and color coding the current draft to show each time you discuss each one). Getting a "visual" of your essay's structure can help see if there are more efficient ways to group the discussion or order the paragraphs, which will then contribute to tightening up not only the structure but also flow, clarity, readability, and dynamism.

An area for focus later in the writing process will be the writing itself. You have a lucid style that creates direct communication with the reader. I do spot occasional errors or awkward phrasing that can disrupt flow. You can attend to these lower-order concerns after working with the higher-order concerns of structure and organization (discussed above)."

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