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How the Nursing Shortage Negatively Impacts Patients

This argumentative paper addresses the current nursing shortage and how it negatively affects patients. The student argues that the shortage causes nurses to make medication errors, to take too long to see patients, and to provide care in unsanitary conditions--all three of which expose patients to harm.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Crystal's feedback:

"You do a lovely job focusing on three key areas that patients are affected by the current nursing shortage and keeping each of your body paragraphs about the danger to patients well-focused. Also, you establish a clear intro with background info and some stats related to the shortage and do an awesome job with synthesizing information in the conclusion. However, a few aspects of your essay structure could be improved: (1) having a more detailed thesis sentence that explicitly states all three ways that patients are put in danger, (2) making sure to connect each danger to the patient specifically to the nursing shortage, and (3) adding stats and/or info from sources to support the points of your argument. In addition, you do a nice job working in the counterargument that nurses can change shifts or have another nurse check on patients, but your rebuttal could be stronger in terms of addressing those two aspects specifically to show why neither solves the problem of the nursing shortage putting patients at risk. With referencing, you do a good job with your Works Cited list, but you don't have any corresponding in-text citations; make sure to add them, especially for the stats in the intro. Finally, there are quite areas with awkward and/or unclear phrasing (especially with plural pronouns being unclear) or other errors, so it would benefit from an edit to clarify wording and fix other issues related to grammar and punctuation."

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