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How the Sierra Leone Civil War Directly Impacted Children Like Ishmael Beah

This short response essay describes the lasting impacts that Sierra Leone's civil war has had on civilians, particularly children like Ishmael Beah, whose 2007 memoir A Long Way Gone describes his experience as a child soldier for the Sierra Leone Armed Forces fighting the RUF.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You've done a good job directly responding to the question with examples and keeping the writing focused. The first main area requiring attention is in the writing mechanics. There are enough errors and/or typos to distract the reader and impact clarity. Make sure to proofread carefully, keeping an eye on word choice, punctuation, sentence boundaries, and correct and consistent capitalization. As you think about getting this to the next level, I would also suggest thinking about organization. For a short essay format, I would suggest starting wide and then getting narrow. So, first explain the war and its impact on "the people of Sierra Leone" (from the question), and then narrow the focus toward your discussion about children. I suggest this because first discussing the impact on children, then civilians, and then on infrastructure, and then going back to children zigzags quite a bit. I do think it's a good idea to end with the lasting effects of the war ("Children lived with guilty feelings after the war..."), so do keep that from the original organization! Using clear, recognizable organization ensures your reader can keep up with you and comprehend the key points within the details."

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