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I Am a Muslim: The Personal and Social Impact of Islamophobia

This essay addresses Islamophobia around the world. The student cites instances of discrimination and hate speech that she has experienced herself as well as several other noteworthy examples.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"This is an extremely important issue, and you raise some strong points about xenophobia and discrimination. Since it is such a serious and emotionally charged issue, it is important to make sure that your paper is presented in a credible and scholarly manner. Make sure to cite sources, especially when mentioning studies or statistics. Not only is this a requirement in scholarly writing, but it adds to the credibility of your argument.

Since this is an issue that affects you personally, it can be difficult to write in a dispassionate manner. However, some statements can come across as based more in emotion than fact (e.g., "anyone will turn on you in an instant"). It would be prudent to work with an editor to address these issues and to help with organization. Make sure to stay on topic within each paragraph and not to shift focus abruptly without an adequate transition. There are also a number of issues with grammar, sentence structure, and word choice that should be addressed."

Learn more about this feedback