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If Only They Would Have Listened...

This is a short story about how the narrator tries to warn about a boating disaster, but no one listens.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

K's feedback:

"This story is off to a great start. You have a clearly defined beginning, middle, and end. The idea that the dream is a harbinger of something terrible draws the reader into the story. Some of your dialogue is very realistic, and I can picture the characters in my mind. To further improve this story, please refine the transitions between scenes. You should also include more development for the individual sections of the tale. For example, the scene with the reporters seems like it could include more information (a plot twist, perhaps?). This paper would benefit from a round of editing to address the grammar and word choice issues."

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