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Word Count: 649
So This is Me for the Next Five Years Imagine if everyone looked like their drivers license picture The audience gaffaws Its a sure laugh Everyone knows they will look bad on their license Its one of the facts of life right Tootie knew it even Blair knew it but I think its a matter of attitude I just had my license renewed for another five years and asked the clerk in the spaceport that is now DMV if I could keep the old one She had an adjacent clerk pop a hole through the date issued and the seal of Virginia and handed it back to me with a shrug mental note when you find the hole punch again and go nuts punching holes in things because its as much fun as popping bubble wrap lay off the new drivers license I had to keep the old one Its the best picture Ive ever taken I showed it to a friend when I got it her response You had it done at Glamour Shots She should have known that wasnt the case because I didnt have blue eye shadow and bright red lips I didnt look like Miss Mall of America but I didnt look like me I never looked that good I went in looking like I lived on a sun-less planet all my life and came out with a license picture where Im an angel all tanned and glowing like Monica revealing her true intent for making a close friend of some untrusting non-believing miscreant Im an angel sent to drive I do believe anyone can have a better license picture something you that doesnt make you cringe when you hand it to a doorman one that doesnt make the cashier at 7-11 giggle Most people go to renew or replace their license with the mindset of Damn I have to go to DMV today rather than
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