Innovations and Regulations in the Sports Apparel Industry
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"You have the beginnings of an interesting essay here, but there simply isn't enough developed content. The overall purpose of the writing isn't clear, though: is your intent to focus on a specific company within the sports apparel industry? Is the goal to inform your audience, or to make an argument? A more detailed introduction (including a thesis) and a conclusion are an essential starting point, but you could certainly flesh out the body of your essay with more detail, too. The number of grammar errors is distracting, and there are some missteps in the citations, such as missing spaces and the use of ampersands rather than the word "and" outside of parenthetical citations. "
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