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Is There a Place for Veganism in Elite Competitive Sports?

This persuasive essay considers the "ideal diet" for athletes, with a focus on whether veganism can produce a competitive athlete. While presenting the various pros of a plant-based diet, the student ultimately argues for a diet that includes meat and that balances the athlete's cultural and personal context against the demands of the sport on the body.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You are off to a good start, and I see via your citations that you've done the heavy lifting of putting together a robust set of sources, as well as having started to incorporate them as support into your discussion. While the first half of this paper shows logical and helpful paragraphing and organization, Part 2 appears a little rougher. If this is just a matter of formatting, make sure to clean up the spacing and indents; however, I do notice Part 2 ends rather abruptly, as well, suggesting that this section is unfinished. Make sure a clear concluding paragraph helps the reader understand the main takeaways of the paper--parts 1 and 2--as a whole.

There are a number of moments when the reader struggles to follow the discussion due to frequent lower-order (grammar, word choice, etc.) issues. A thorough proofread will be important as you move move further along in the drafting process. Aim for precision and effectiveness of communication in your word choice. This will ensure the reader can focus on the ideas, without the distraction of deciphering the language."

Learn more about this feedback