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Juveniles Should Never Be Sentenced as Adults

In this argumentative essay, a student considers whether juveniles who have committed crimes should be sentenced as adults depending on the severity of the crime. The student argues that juveniles should never be treated as adults because their youth means they are not at fault for their poor choices and actions.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You make your stance clear to the reader from the beginning of your essay, and everything you discuss helps to support your argument. However, your essay as a whole would be stronger if you started each of your body paragraphs with a topic sentence that ties into the thesis statement and tells the reader what supporting point you'll be discussing in the given paragraph. For example, the topic sentence for your first body paragraph could be about how juveniles shouldn't be held responsible for their actions in the same manner as adults because juvenile and adult brains are very different developmentally. After starting a paragraph with a descriptive topic sentence, you can then move into citing your various sources wherever appropriate in the paragraph. There are some outstanding writing conventions errors to be addressed in an edit, including issues with run-on sentences. Your essay would look neater and be more aesthetically appealing if you made the spaces in between each paragraph smaller. To better follow standard practice for academic writing, consider indenting the first line of each paragraph by half an inch instead of skipping lines in between paragraphs."

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