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Word Count: 862
I did not cry then or ever about Finny I did not cry even when I stood watching him being lowered into his familys strait-laced burial ground outside of Boston I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral and you do not cry in that case Page 186 A Separate peace by John Knowles Phineas was dead and I could not cry The cry was caught in my throat and I could not get it out I could feel the tears hiding in their ducts laughing at my weakness This was my funeral Because in all ways we are Phineas optimistic fantasizing forgiving and athletic and in all ways we are Gene paranoid unworthy indifferent and self-centered I shiver at the thought of myself as two inseparable entities rarely recognized as being independent In every moment we are faced with this unseen battle with ourselves Phineas is naturally graceful in his walk his talk and his mind The paragon for all best friends Forgiving Almost so forgiving as to be nave Almost perfect Gene is everything we are Every single person in this world is Gene Sarcastic to hide our weakness plotting and untruthful even to ourselves Doing things for the wrong reasons Is man inherently evil As a child we knew as much of this Gene character as I do now Brooding in my subconscious selfish and yes evil Just the little things Jealousy of his or her toys or accomplishments Hungry for attention and praise And selfish Most of all selfish I often think that there was no act done when we were children that was not selfish I was born selfish no one could touch my mother without a yelp of frustration and warning from me Do we hold on to these feelings of jealousy and hate because they are the most natural to us because we knew them first as children Both
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