Music as the Key to a Fulfilling Life after a Misdiagnosis of Severe Asthma
In this personal narrative, a student talks about how a misdiagnosis of severe asthma as a child affected her lifestyle and life choices even after it was discovered that she was perfectly healthy. The student also explains how music slowly gave her the confidence to embrace living her life to the fullest.
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"Your narrative accomplishes the task of taking the reader on a journey and showing the reader how you've overcome some serious difficulties in your life. When you talk about how important music is to you, the reader can understand your sincerity and the weight of your words. But while your essay has a satisfying conclusion, the introduction is somewhat awkward. The quote and your first paragraph don't transition well into the second paragraph, where you really get into your narrative. Adding a bit more detail to your first paragraph, such as how old you were when you were declared perfectly healthy, could help the reader better understand that after introducing the quote you're then traveling back in time to tell your story. In terms of formatting, you should keep the same font type and size throughout the work to give it more polish. It would also be a good idea to do one more edit of the narrative to take care of any awkward phrasing and fix simple grammar errors."
Kibin. (2023). Music as the key to a fulfilling life after a misdiagnosis of severe asthma. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/music-as-the-key-to-a-fulfilling-life-after-a-misdiagnosis-of-severe-asthma-oYbJ4C4E
Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.
("Music as the Key to a Fulfilling Life after a Misdiagnosis of Severe Asthma.")
Works Cited entry:
"Music as the Key to a Fulfilling Life after a Misdiagnosis of Severe Asthma." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/music-as-the-key-to-a-fulfilling-life-after-a-misdiagnosis-of-severe-asthma-oYbJ4C4E
1. "Music as the Key to a Fulfilling Life after a Misdiagnosis of Severe Asthma." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/music-as-the-key-to-a-fulfilling-life-after-a-misdiagnosis-of-severe-asthma-oYbJ4C4E.
"Music as the Key to a Fulfilling Life after a Misdiagnosis of Severe Asthma." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/music-as-the-key-to-a-fulfilling-life-after-a-misdiagnosis-of-severe-asthma-oYbJ4C4E.
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