My Challenge: From Out of Shape to Completing a Marathon

This personal essay relates the author's challenges when attempting to run a half marathon, and subsequent success overcoming mental and physical barriers to complete a full marathon.

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Jim's feedback:

"This is an interesting essay, especially to someone like me who can't run across the street. You should write the past tense "birthed" in the third sentence. In the second paragraph, the third sentence does not make sense. You should say, for example, "... beginning to exact a physical and mental toll." You should delete the comma after "Then." In the third paragraph, you should write "half-mile run," with a hyphen. Following that, you have an incomplete sentence. You could fix that by adding to the previous sentence, set off by a comma. Note also that "incremental" should be "increment." Then you need a comma before "which" in the next sentence, and also before "specifically" two sentences later. I think you walk "on" crutches and not in them. You say you could walk and run normally before your injury. What you mean to say is that you walked normally, as you did before your injury. then, you have a trait "*that* would be considered ... ," and you didn't "sign up the full marathon;" you signed up *for* the full marathon. You should delete the comma in "excuses, I made for myself," and "shutdown" is a noun. You want to write "shut down." There was zero competition, not "were." You should write "June 15" and not "June 15th," and notice that in any case that you wrote dates inconsistently, as you later wrote "January 16.""

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2025)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2025). My challenge: from out of shape to completing a marathon. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/my-challenge-from-out-of-shape-to-completing-a-marathon-Yei68YDc

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("My Challenge: From Out of Shape to Completing a Marathon.")

Works Cited entry:

"My Challenge: From Out of Shape to Completing a Marathon." Kibin, 2025, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/my-challenge-from-out-of-shape-to-completing-a-marathon-Yei68YDc

Footnote:

1. "My Challenge: From Out of Shape to Completing a Marathon." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/my-challenge-from-out-of-shape-to-completing-a-marathon-Yei68YDc.

Bibliography entry:

"My Challenge: From Out of Shape to Completing a Marathon." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/my-challenge-from-out-of-shape-to-completing-a-marathon-Yei68YDc.