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My Educational Journey and Future Goals

In this personal essay, a student describes their educational journey thus far and where they might start their career after graduating with a business degree.
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5
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1,468
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Christina's feedback:

"Well done introducing yourself and defining your purpose for writing in your introduction. When transitioning from one paragraph to the next, you do a good job of introducing your next point, but these transitions -- and the rest of your paper -- are a bit wordy at times. Consider trimming phrases like "I think" and words like "probably"; this is an easy way to make your writing more concise without changing your meaning. You would benefit from proofreading to ensure that issues with punctuation, capitalization, and sentence structure are resolved. Finally, your Works Cited doesn't follow MLA standards; more information is needed to complete those references. Any MLA guide can help you with those, as well as your in-text citations."

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