In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2025)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2025). Overcoming adversity in guy vanderhaeghe's the dancing bear. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/overcoming-adversity-in-guy-vanderhaeghes-the-dancing-bear-2lZpybFd
More essays like this:
This preview is partially blurred. Sign up to view the complete essay.
More essays like this:
View other essays like this one:
Bridget's feedback:
"With your main argument, evidence, and textual references on the page, this draft forms a good platform to move forward in the writing process. In the body paragraphs, you make reference to literary devices like symbolism, character behavior, dialogue, and plot; you can use a reverse outline to make a list of the devices you argue contribute to the author's message, using that to craft a thesis that goes beyond the "what" (theme, message) and tells us "how" the author communicates the ideas. In order to do this, you may have to think about broader categories or different organization for the body presentation -- again, a reverse outline is a very helpful strategy to get a sense of your essay's moving parts.
At the level of writing, including mechanics, diction, and syntax, this current draft shows numerous errors. While you should prioritize higher-order concerns like organization and argumentation, make sure you save time for proofreading and similar sentence-level work later in the writing process. I notice, as well, repeated phrasing and redundant ideas; streamlining and trimming those away will help create more precision, in turn enhancing the reader's ability to focus on the ideas.
Keeping in mind the reader depends on you for cues, signposting, and the information necessary to comprehend your analysis, make sure to fully introduce the text (author, title) in your first paragraph. The work of revision is to create a clear piece of writing that most effectively communicates with the reader, so keep your audience in mind as you head to the next draft."
Learn more about this feedback
In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2025)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2025). Overcoming adversity in guy vanderhaeghe's the dancing bear. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/overcoming-adversity-in-guy-vanderhaeghes-the-dancing-bear-2lZpybFd
In-text citation:
("Overcoming Adversity in Guy Vanderhaeghe's The Dancing Bear.")
Works Cited entry:
"Overcoming Adversity in Guy Vanderhaeghe's The Dancing Bear." Kibin, 2025, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/overcoming-adversity-in-guy-vanderhaeghes-the-dancing-bear-2lZpybFd
Footnote:
1. "Overcoming Adversity in Guy Vanderhaeghe's The Dancing Bear." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/overcoming-adversity-in-guy-vanderhaeghes-the-dancing-bear-2lZpybFd.
Bibliography entry:
"Overcoming Adversity in Guy Vanderhaeghe's The Dancing Bear." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/overcoming-adversity-in-guy-vanderhaeghes-the-dancing-bear-2lZpybFd.
You know how looking at a math problem similar to the one you're stuck on can help you get unstuck? Reading example essays works the same way!
Here are some ways our essay examples library can help you with your assignment:
Read our Academic Honor Code for more information on how to use (and how not to use) our library.
Essays may be lightly modified for readability or to protect the anonymity of contributors, but we do not edit essay examples prior to publication. (And nope, we don't source our examples from our editing service! Check out our Privacy and Content Sharing policies for more information.)
The essays in our library are intended to serve as content examples to inspire you as you write your own essay. They're not intended to be submitted as your own work, so we don't waste time removing every error. This allows our team to focus on improving the library and adding new essays.
The example essays in Kibin's library were written by real students for real classes. To protect the anonymity of contributors, we've removed their names and personal information from the essays. When citing an essay from our library, you can use "Kibin" as the author.
Kibin does not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of the essays in the library; essay content should not be construed as advice. For more information on choosing credible sources for your paper, check out this blog post.
Did you find something inaccurate, misleading, abusive, or otherwise problematic in this essay example? Let us know! We'll take a look right away.