1. Home

Part-Time Jobs Help Teenagers with Personal Development

In this argumentative essay, a student explains why teens should be allowed to have part-time jobs. The student discusses how such employment helps teens develop their self-confidence, patience, time management skills, and sense of responsibility.
PAGES
2
WORDS
500
  Cite
View Full Essay
About this essay
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley
Generating Preview...
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You have a solid thesis statement, and it is easy to see how your body paragraphs relate to your thesis. However, while it is clear that you have attempted to link your body paragraphs with transition statements, these sentences need more work. Your transition between the first and second body paragraphs in particular would benefit from further revision. Run-on sentences such as the one that begins “Part-time jobs build” and sentence fragments such as the one that begins “As young adults” should be recast for clarity. Many sentences featuring lists have parallel structure problems, and you should review the difference between “affect” and “effect.” Typos include “employes” instead of “employers.” Singular “they” should be avoided in academic writing, so instead of pairing “a teen” with “they,” consider changing the subject to be plural (i.e., pair “teens” with “they”)."

Learn more about this feedback