Philosophical Influences from Plato and Rene Descartes in The Matrix by the Wachowskis
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"You crafted a very compelling introduction and conclusion, and your thesis statement clearly lays out your intentions for the essay. In addition, you've done well providing plenty of analysis of The Matrix and of different philosophical outlooks. However, since you establish in your introduction that you will be analyzing The Matrix and its ties to philosophical concepts, your paper could be improved by reworking your transition statements so that they firmly state the aspect of the movie you're planning to highlight in a given body paragraph. At the moment, your supporting paragraphs jump a bit between focusing on a philosophical idea first and then the movie second or vice versa, which can make your argument difficult to follow. Finally, correcting some outstanding grammar and punctuation issues, especially with your use of the semicolon, will strengthen your essay as a whole."
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