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Promoting Employee Engagement through a Variety of Activities

In this problem and solution essay, a student discusses the need for CareerStaff Unlimited to work on employee engagement since there is a high turnover rate at the company. The student proposes doing a variety of activities in order to bridge the gap between old and new employees.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Angela's feedback:

"Your essay starts off on a strong note with valuable background information on the company and its human resources needs. However, the essay gets weaker as the paper progresses in part because there is an increase in the number of formatting and writing convention errors. The first line of each paragraph should be indented by half an inch, and while it’s good that you insert headings for navigation, your headings should be formatted in a special way (e.g., with boldface) so that they’re easier to distinguish from the surrounding text. Sentence fragments such as the ones that begin “Although the employees” and “Finally, meeting on” should be recast for clarity. Meanwhile, the word “Unlimited” should be capitalized when used as part of a company’s name, and the first word in a sentence should also be capitalized. Terms such as “communication” should not be capitalized in the middle of a sentence. Other issues include the use of “there” instead of “their” and “heading” instead of “handing.”"

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