In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). Solutions for cultivating better retirement savings efforts. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/solutions-for-cultivating-better-retirement-savings-efforts-9iRkosYE
More essays like this:
This preview is partially blurred. Sign up to view the complete essay.
More essays like this:
View other essays like this one:
Natalie's feedback:
"Saving for retirement is definitely something very important that doesn’t seem to be talked about enough! Throughout your essay, you remained focused and included quite a bit of interesting information pertinent to the topic. There were several conventional errors, so be sure to proofread carefully. There were also some formatting errors, so you may want to reference an MLA style guide.
Where your essay suffered the most, however, was in terms of organization. Your points were presented in a seemingly random order and there was some repetition. I would suggest breaking your points down into solutions at the individual (e.g., people cultivating/maintaining good savings habits), familial (e.g., parents teaching their children about good fiscal habits), local (e.g., schools teaching kids good fiscal habits and jobs implementing better retirement plans), and governmental (e.g., the government providing social safety nets and improving institutions like social security) level and dedicating a paragraph to each. This will allow you to fully explain your proposed solutions at each level without repetition or confusion. Your thesis needs some revision as well so that it touches on your solutions.
This a good first draft, and with some editing, you will have a great essay."
Learn more about this feedback
In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). Solutions for cultivating better retirement savings efforts. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/solutions-for-cultivating-better-retirement-savings-efforts-9iRkosYE
In-text citation:
("Solutions for Cultivating Better Retirement Savings Efforts.")
Works Cited entry:
"Solutions for Cultivating Better Retirement Savings Efforts." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/solutions-for-cultivating-better-retirement-savings-efforts-9iRkosYE
Footnote:
1. "Solutions for Cultivating Better Retirement Savings Efforts." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/solutions-for-cultivating-better-retirement-savings-efforts-9iRkosYE.
Bibliography entry:
"Solutions for Cultivating Better Retirement Savings Efforts." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/solutions-for-cultivating-better-retirement-savings-efforts-9iRkosYE.
You know how looking at a math problem similar to the one you're stuck on can help you get unstuck? Reading example essays works the same way!
Here are some ways our essay examples library can help you with your assignment:
Read our Academic Honor Code for more information on how to use (and how not to use) our library.
Essays may be lightly modified for readability or to protect the anonymity of contributors, but we do not edit essay examples prior to publication. (And nope, we don't source our examples from our editing service! Check out our Privacy and Content Sharing policies for more information.)
The essays in our library are intended to serve as content examples to inspire you as you write your own essay. They're not intended to be submitted as your own work, so we don't waste time removing every error. This allows our team to focus on improving the library and adding new essays.
The example essays in Kibin's library were written by real students for real classes. To protect the anonymity of contributors, we've removed their names and personal information from the essays. When citing an essay from our library, you can use "Kibin" as the author.
Kibin does not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of the essays in the library; essay content should not be construed as advice. For more information on choosing credible sources for your paper, check out this blog post.
Did you find something inaccurate, misleading, abusive, or otherwise problematic in this essay example? Let us know! We'll take a look right away.