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Solutions to Address the Problem of an Aging Population

In this problem and solution essay, a student discusses the issues countries are facing because the proportion of older people in their populations is steadily increasing. The student explains the reasons for this development and presents some solutions to help address the overarching problem.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You've structured your essay in a logical way, so it's clear how each of your paragraphs is working to support your argument. There are instances though where your sentences could use further revision to smooth out your language use. For example, the phrase "reverse this phenomenon" is a bit awkward since you can't really reverse the aging process. There are also simple problems with word choice such as the use of "healthy" instead of "health" and "stunning" instead of "stunting." A thorough check is recommended to ensure that a punctuation mark appears at the end of every sentence."

Learn more about this feedback