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Statement of Purpose: Seeking a Canadian Student Visa

This is a statement of purpose written by an author who is seeking a Canadian student visa. First, they discuss their previous and current job and educational experience. They also discuss their life and family responsibilities, along with their financial and emotional support. Last, they highlight their intention to return to Sri Lanka after completing their education to return to their life and family responsibilities.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"You have done a great job describing your career and life responsibilities in detail. You have also done a great job formatting your paper so that it is neat and coherent.

While it becomes clear to the reader what the purpose of your paper is towards the end, I would encourage you to include an introduction that makes it clear to the reader what the goal is from the very beginning. I would also consider breaking your list of job responsibilities into several parts. If you feel that it is essential to include all duties, break them up into more sentences and make the text read as more of a conversation rather than a list. If there are responsibilities that you are willing to omit, I would consider doing that also. As of right now, the list is so long that I am not sure most readers would read through all of it.

Last, scattered throughout the statement are several punctuation and grammatical errors. Make sure to have another pair of eyes read through the statement for you and provide you with feedback."

Learn more about this feedback