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Student Athletes in College Do Get Special Treatment

In this argumentative essay, a student takes the stance that student-athletes in college are unfairly given preferential treatment over their non-athlete counterparts. The student explains how the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) is part of the problem.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You provide many valid examples of how student-athletes receive preferential treatment in college, but your essay would be a lot stronger if you reorganized the information in your body paragraphs. You make many overlapping points between different body paragraphs, so your argument would be more compelling to the reader if you, for example, spent one body paragraph talking about the NCAA, another body paragraph talking about how university administration and admissions staff give student-athletes special treatment, another paragraph on how instructors give student-athletes special treatment, and so forth. A chunk of the essay has paragraphs that are indented incorrectly, and the font type changes throughout the paper. Revising your essay to maintain consistency in formatting will give it a neater, more polished look overall. A thorough edit is needed to address writing convention errors, including problems with sentence structure and word choice."

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