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Explaining Male Violence in James Garbino's Lost Boys

This essay is about the Lost Boys written by James Garbarino. The book's premise is about why boys and men commit so much violence and how the problem can be solved by giving them love from a young age.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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male violence, james garbarino
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

male violence, james garbarino
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"This paper is off to an excellent start. Your writing is very well-formatted, which is essential because it improves the reading comprehension and cohesion of the paper. I recommend that your headings not be indented and that you consider making them bold or italicized, though. It is also clear what the purpose of your paper is and that you stayed focused on it. This is because you wrote a clear thesis statement and the content in the body of the paper aligns with it. The main two things to work on are the organization and conventions of the writing. While you have included a thesis statement, the introduction could benefit from more elaboration. This could look like adding a bit more background information. The paper then does not end with a clear conclusion. Instead, consider writing a conclusion summarizing the main points you made in the document's body and relating them to the thesis statement. Overall, the content of your paper is excellent. You have included a lot of cited material to support the points you are trying to make. I recommend that, in some places, you include more details so that readers aren't left with questions in their minds after they have read something. Last, there are many grammar and word choice errors in your writing. Make sure that your piece goes through a round of proofreading to resolve these issues."

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