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The Argument For A Controlling Parenting Style

This is a persuasive essay in which the author argues that a controlling parenting style is better than a permissive parenting style. The author argues that parents need to be more controlling because children are unsafe when left to their own devices, phones must be regulated, and they are not old enough to understand the dangers of the world.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"This essay is off to a good start. You have created a well-developed and supported argument. Consider evaluating the three points you are making in your essay, mostly because the point of "children are unsafe if left to their own devices" is not separate from the phone issue and children not knowing dangers. The first one encompasses the other two, it is not separate. Your essay has some instances of not properly citing quotations. There are also some places where the grammar is affecting the readability of the text. There are a couple of places in which an adequate transition between ideas is lacking. The most notable is when you go from talking about monitoring phone use to monitoring lunch accounts. You end your essay with a strong conclusion that can be made even stronger with the help of proper grammar and word usage. Last, the title is confusing and does not particularly portray what is talked about in the body of the paper. After a good round of proofreading and some rethinking of the arguments that you are supporting this will be a very strong essay."

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