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The Benefits of Playgrounds in Childhood Development

In this admissions essay, the student writes about the benefits of playgrounds. The student illustrates the necessity of playgrounds and outside playtime in general by discussing research on childhood development as it pertains to playing outdoors.
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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Natalie's feedback:

"Playgrounds are a very interesting and, as you have illustrated, an important topic! Overall this essay was very well written. You had a clear focus, integrated several supporting pieces of information and quotes from outside sources, and had very minor, unrepeated spelling/grammatical errors. My biggest suggestion would be to work on your introduction and conclusion a little bit more. The paper starts and ends somewhat abruptly, and introductions and conclusions are more important that people tend to think! These sections are where you can be a bit more creative, where you can draw the reader in and get them interested in your paper. Only other issue was formatting, which can be easily fixed by referencing a style guide (several can be found online by simply search "Harvard style guide," for example). With these few fixes, you'll have a great essay!"

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