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The Chaos of Crowds in Mao II by Don DeLillo

This essay provides information on the idea of crowds and crowds as a form of identity in the novel Mao II. The author also details what happened at the funeral of Ayatollah Khomeini, giving further insight on the chaos of crowds, in addition to the Yankee Stadium crowd scene in the novel.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Christina's feedback:

"Good work giving your focus statement, showing how you will be looking at DeLillo’s descriptions about the chaotic nature of crowds. Rather than starting your body paragraphs off with “firstly” and “secondly,” you want to add a bit of variety to your transitions. For instance, in the third paragraph, you could say, “While the scenes within the movie are captivating, it also places focus on the televised funeral of Ayatollah Khomeini.” Your conclusion paragraph is a little bit long; it seems like you're discussing the idea of separating from crowds as part of the body of your essay, but then you transition into the end of the essay. I think you could start a new paragraph with "Mao II scolds the types..." as a strong concluding paragraph. A round of proofreading would be beneficial to ensure any issues of punctuation are resolved before submitting your work."

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