The Colombian Exchange's Biggest Effects on the New World

This essay focuses on the what the student views as the most important effects of the Colombian Exchange and the details that support why the student feels that way. The student discusses how the exchange revolutionized diets, built up people's immunity, and brought a greater variety of foods to different places.

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Crystal's feedback:

"You highlight a ton of great details about the effects of the Colombian (note the correct spelling here) Exchange; however, your focus is not super clear in the first paragraph. Ideally, you should be zeroing in on the one effect that you believe is the most important and the supporting reasons at the end of your first paragraph (i.e., a thesis statement that clearly states what you view as the most important effect and why). In your conclusion (2nd sentence), you have a great statement that could help with crafting a strong thesis. But that should also all be tied into one broad effect, with those aspects being the supporting points. The intro does not set up the overall context/your purpose as currently structured While you do keep each paragraph well-focused, each should also circle back around to your main point (the thesis), have a clear topic sentence (relating to the thesis), and end with why the information supports the topic sentence and your thesis. A few points in your body paragraphs are also unclear because of vague pronoun use (e.g., third to last sentence in paragraph about the spread of disease) or underdeveloped phrasing (e.g., sentence that mentions Hawaii and pineapples). However, your formatting presents nicely, and your overall command of grammar and punctuation is very good with just a few minor punctuation errors. Touching those up with a thorough edit, clarifying the focus, and fixing any unclear areas would help ensure your points are clear and keep your essay focused on what you view as the most important effect of the discovery and settlement of the New World."

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2023)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2023). The colombian exchange's biggest effects on the new world. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-colombian-exchanges-biggest-effects-on-the-new-world-iZkbW5D5

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("The Colombian Exchange's Biggest Effects on the New World.")

Works Cited entry:

"The Colombian Exchange's Biggest Effects on the New World." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-colombian-exchanges-biggest-effects-on-the-new-world-iZkbW5D5

Footnote:

1. "The Colombian Exchange's Biggest Effects on the New World." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-colombian-exchanges-biggest-effects-on-the-new-world-iZkbW5D5.

Bibliography entry:

"The Colombian Exchange's Biggest Effects on the New World." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-colombian-exchanges-biggest-effects-on-the-new-world-iZkbW5D5.