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The Correlation Between Personality Similarities and Marital Fulfillment

This essay addresses the issue of marital fulfillment. The student examines whether couples with similar personality traits experience more fulfilling marriages.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You have some great information here that can be arranged into a strong essay. You've cited some interesting research and have drawn some conclusions that can make this a great paper. However, there are some large issues that need to be addressed.

Your abstract makes some contradictory arguments. For instance, it claims that both couples with similar traits and couples with opposite traits experience higher marital satisfaction. Throughout the essay, ideas are worded in confusing ways. For example, the phrase, "the same kind of people have opposite personality traits," is confusing. What is meant by "the same kind of people" if they have opposing traits? This is repeated throughout the paper.

Make sure you are citing and attributing ideas correctly. An academic paper should never discuss findings from a study without citing that study. The sentence that begins with "They identified characteristics..." is an example of an unsupported claim. "They" should never be used without first identifying who "they" are.

Several paragraphs stray from their topics. For example, consider the paragraph that begins, "In contrast, there are those..." The first and last sentences suggest that couples with too many similarities may encounter problems, but the rest of the paragraph scarcely deals with that thought.

Your conclusion should not simply repeat sentences from earlier in your paper, but rather sum up the broad ideas and present the reader with a final takeaway message.

I strongly suggest working closely with an editor to address these issues. There are many issues with word choice that impact readability and clarity, and these should be addressed before submititng."

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