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The Day My House Burned Down

In this personal narrative, a student describes the day her house burned down. The student shares that while she and her family lost all their belongings, she is grateful that they were all able to safely escape the burning building.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You do a good job providing a brief overview of the day you and your family lost your home. It's notable that you effectively balanced telling the full story in a condensed manner with including meaningful details. A final review is recommended to address any outstanding writing convention errors. For example, the phrase "decided play upstairs" needs revision, and words such as "morning" and "that" should not be capitalized when they do not begin a sentence. Meanwhile, "Red Cross" should always be capitalized since it's a proper noun. Some aspects of the story are a bit confusing as well. It's unclear, for example, why your neighbors had to move your car instead of your mom since it was your mom who had remembered to grab her purse."

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