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More essays like this:
"Your paper is off to a good start. You have clearly presented points to support your argument and have provided a substantial amount of evidence. To make your introduction stronger, consider rewording your thesis statement to include the specific risks you are going to be talking about throughout your paper. Throughout the entirety of the paper, there are a significant amount of grammatical errors that are negatively impacting the readability of your essay. The lack of citations in your third paragraph is of concern, especially since it is in stark comparison to the second paragraph. Make sure that any information that you obtained from another source is properly cited to avoid issues with plagiarism."
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