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The Distinctions Between Erikson's and Marcia's Ideas About Identity

This essay discusses the differences between Erik Erikson's and James Marcia's theories about the formation of identity. The student argues that, although Marcia built upon Erkison's work, the former developed his own theories that should be treated as independent from Erikson's
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Bob's feedback:

"This is a strong and well-organized essay. You do a great job of providing context to both researchers' findings and then narrowing your focus. However, your thesis statement (that Marcia's ideas are independent from Erikson's) does not receive much emphasis in the supporting paragraphs. While you illustrate the differences between their ideas about the development of identity, it would be a good idea to spell out for your reader that this is where Marcia deviates and develops his own theory. Consider using specific language to communicate to your reader where you believe Marcia has broken off from Erikson and formed his own theory.

You include some strong support for your arguments through citations and quotes. However, some areas could use more support. For example, you mention that both figures' methods "are seen as inadequate." This should either be attached to a source or worded less authoritatively (e.g., "may be inadequate," "could be seen as inadequate"). You might consider breaking up the paragraph that discusses Marcia's thoughts on the identity stage. Dedicating a separate paragraph to each of the four stages you discuss (identity diffusion, moratorium, foreclosure, and identity achievement) can help organize your analysis and give the reader cues to help keep them separate.

Make sure to proofread the essay as there are a number of awkward phrases such as "Marcia has a bit different idea" and "said to have expanded by James Marcia." If you choose to capitalize Marcia's four stages, make sure you do so consistently."

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