The Effects of the Decline of Federal Funding for the Treatment and Prevention of Substance Abuse
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"You have presented a substantial amount of quality evidence to effectively support your position. The evidence and information is presented in a logical and cohesive manner improving the readability of the essay. To improve the strength of the introduction and essay cohesive, consider adding to the introduction the specific aspects you cover in each paragraph. When presenting information obtained from a personal interview, it is not necessary to continuously write "she says." It tends to detract from the power of the message. There are a couple of places where the essay is written in a conversational tone rather than a scholarly tone and this should be resolved. As written, the essay does not have an adequate conclusion. Consider including a paragraph that summarizes the main points made in the body of the essay and reiterates the point you are trying to prove."
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